*Caution: May contain trace amounts of actual work*
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The "Revision" Swing
"Just one more small change..."
I specialize in moving pixels 2px to the left, then 2px to the right, until the client feels like they contributed.
SKILL: PATIENCE
The Budget Seesaw
Expectations ⬆️ Budget ⬇️
Balancing "I want it to look like Apple" with "I have a budget of $50 and a sandwich". I make it work somehow.
SKILL: NEGOTIATION
Jumping to Conclusions
Agile Methodology (Chaos)
We move fast and break things. Mostly the layout. Sometimes the database. But hey, look how high we can jump!
SKILL: RAPID PROTOTYPING
Deployment Slide
Straight to Production
The smooth journey from "It works on localhost" to "Why is the server on fire?".
Brilliant.
"Oh, you're actually doing it? Fantastic.
I can't wait to spend three weeks arguing about the shade of blue on a button nobody clicks.
We're all just evolved monkeys on a rock spinning through a void of indifference, but sure, let's optimize your conversion rate. That'll definitely fill the void.